Top Theological Pick-Up Lines NOT to Use  

Posted by JC Lamont

Top Theological Pick-Up Lines NOT to Use:

12. “I am not overweight. The word ‘glory’ in Hebrew means ‘heaviness.’ And since we are to reflect God’s glory, I'm just doing what the Bible says.”

11. “Looking at you makes me reconsider preterism, because you are heaven on earth.”

10. “I couldn't help noticing you were exegeting me instead of the text during the sermon.”

9. "Your name must be grace, because you are irresistible.”

8. "There are six things that motivate me to talk to you, yea, seven that turned my head.”

7. “Until this moment, I thought I had the gift of singleness.”

6. During communion say, “Can I get you another drink.”

5. “The Bible says I might be visited by angels unaware, but something must be wrong with my interpretation, because I am perfectly aware of you.”

4. “God may be the bread of life, but you are the butter.”

3. “The site of you leaves me aprophatic.”

2. “You must have missed The Fall line, because you are lookin’ righteous.”

1. Sing this to the tune of George Strait’s “Chair”: “Excuse me, but I think you’ve got my rib.”

This entry was posted on 28 January, 2009 at Wednesday, January 28, 2009 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


Hey J.C.,

Just wanted to let you know I have nominated your blog for THE LEMONADE AWARD. You have a great blog and it's deserving of it. :)

Now, the way the “When Life Gives You Lemons, make Lemonade” Award (for short, The Lemonade Award) works is:

1) You must link back to the person you received the award from.
2) You have to nominate 10 bloggers who are deserving of this award!

Thanks for having an awesome blog. You can grab the image


January 28, 2009 at 8:54 AM

JC. These pick up lines NOT to use are hysterical. Where the heck do you find this stuff? **SMILE** It's really funny.

A smile is always a great way to start the day. Thanks.

January 28, 2009 at 9:27 AM

It almost makes me wish I was single again so I could go out and use some of those great lines.

If only I'd known them when I was younger...

January 28, 2009 at 12:08 PM

Hi Peter -- thanks for checking out my blog.

Lynn -- unfortunately, I can't claim them as my own -- it was actually a list of 20, but I didn't find them all funny so I shortened it to 12.

Lynda -- thanks for the award. Wow, two awards in one week, that's odd.

January 28, 2009 at 12:11 PM

You're welcome. Thanks for stopping by mine. I have no idea how you found me but I'm glad you did.

I love the site design and am looking forward to the book. Your author site is pretty impressive too!

I added you to my RSS and will read every time you post. Looking forward to reading your posts regularly.

January 28, 2009 at 1:48 PM

My eyes are rolling at number four.

These are funny!

January 28, 2009 at 1:59 PM

Those are good! hee hee LOL!
How about:
I don't see it, but some people think I look like Sampson.

January 29, 2009 at 12:12 AM

O Hello - I just saw another one I had to share:

If you and I were on the ark, they would have called it the Love Boat!

I know. I'm always late, but I just had to share in case anyone else comes by! It was too good to pass up!


January 29, 2009 at 12:18 AM

The love boat -- that is good. Where are you finding them?

January 29, 2009 at 12:20 AM

They pop on a Christian singles site I belong to. funny stuff.

January 30, 2009 at 7:45 AM

When I was single, funny/clever guys were always the most appealing. These lines are adorable, and I would have found the guy uttering them adorable as well.

January 30, 2009 at 8:11 PM

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